[WEEK 4, THURSDAY NIGHT PRE-CURFEW: Akira]

[spinatalltale]

[she moves quietly towards Akira and Raven's hut after nightfall, but before curfew, silently hoping that Raven's absence means it'll be empty save for Akira. careful observation of his demeanor throughout the day revealed to her that his strength was wavering-- worry, a dash of panic, and most importantly fear, was etched into every single feature, to the point of where that spark in his eyes she admired so much was completely invisible]

[she didn't like it]

[. . . but she didn't know what to do about it, either]

[this wasn't her area of expertise. hell, just a few short weeks ago, she would've taken one look at that expression and kept her distance, allowing him to deal with his emotions all on his own. but her feet carry her before she can really think about it, and before she knows it, she's outside his door, standing with her hands linked behind her back and her expression neutral]

[she sucks in a deep breath]

Hey, Trickster! You home?

Comments

[spinatalltale]

[she actually shrinks back a bit underneath that surprised look]

What? Don't-- . . . this is new to me, too.

[jokered]

...Sorry.

[he closes his eyes again; he'll give her that space.]

You surprised me.

[spinatalltale]

[. . . it helps her relax a bit again, honestly. bless his patience]

Uho, did I? I suppose even now I'm still full of surprises.

[its. a half-hearted joke]

[jokered]

[he cares enough to not want to push her away at a time like this.]

You've never been predictable.

[and he likes that, honestly.]

Can I ask... why? [why she feels that right now?]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

[build on it, Magilou. Melchior broke your heart, but it doesn't have to stay that way. he's dead. can't you move on from that?]

Oooh, I don't know. [her reply is light and nonchalant] I suppose I would really prefer that you stay alive. That's all.

[she doesn't quite make the connection verbally-- I'm afraid for you, I'm afraid of you dying on me-- but the pieces are there. he can probably figure it out]

[jokered]

[he can figure it out. he's no idiot, after all—he already knows magilou's words often betray their meaning.

his head dips a little though, and he sucks in a breath. right now, he doesn't feel deserving of her worry—but it also means he's done at least one thing right by helping her with her own feelings, right?

...it's why he can't give up.]

...

[okay. maybe that definitely makes him feel a bit more breathless, like that weight is resting on his chest.

why is this so hard?]

[spinatalltale]

[oh god is he going to cry this is too much she doesn't know how to deal with crying SOMEONE HELP]

Hey-- [she speaks up quickly] That's not the sort of thing that makes someone cry, is it?!

[I mean. she actually doesn't know, but. that wasn't her intention!!]

[jokered]

I'm not planning on crying.

[but yeah. it is. that's a line akira doesn't feel like crossing. that's not to say he won't with the right triggers, but he mostly just feels winded and that faint sting behind his eyes.

he's fine.]

I'm not going to dump any feelings on you that you don't think you can deal with. [or any feelings at all, to be honest.]

[spinatalltale]

[on the one hand, she appreciates that. the care he takes in not overwhelming her when this is all so new to her. but on the other hand?]

[. . .]

[if his eyes are still closed, he'll miss the way she reaches out, her fingers brushing against both his cheeks so she can frame his face in her palms. her thumb even traces the lines of the scratches he received yesterday, following the lines of the injury before coming to rest near his jaw. her touch is surprisingly gentle, so as not to irritate the wound even more]

[. . .]

[god, what the hell. her chest aches]

I think I can take it.

[jokered]

[he misses the start of that gesture, which does elicit some surprise from him—though when he opens his eyes to look at her—

there's not really any surprise in his expression. there's actually a measure of raw vulnerability in his gaze. he's.

...surprisingly not hard to read at all. without his glasses as his shield, she can see his worry, his sadness, his guilt, the measures of despair that have been chipping away at him for weeks...

but she'll also be able to see that his warmth and understanding, his kindness and appreciation still exist. his fire is muted, as if he needs to relieve himself of some other emotion before that. still... akira doesn't cry, even if he draws in a shaky breath. he leans into her touch—it's gentle, and all akira can think about that, sincerely, it:]

...Your heart's a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.

[spinatalltale]

[christ, even now she thinks she could lose herself in those eyes. every bit of warmth and understanding and kindness and determination, but also every bit of grief and pain and fear. he feels so much, so much more than what Velvet ever showed to her, and he doesn't run from any of it. not even when he's exhausted and tired and fraying on the edges]

[heh]

Don't mistake a broken heart for a strong one. [she brushes off his words] Out of the two of us, you're the one really living right now.

[. . .]

Don't run from that for my sake. Okay? Every bit of grief and fear-- embrace it just as you would joy and bravery and everything in between.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.

[jokered]

Sometimes things that break... heal stronger than they were before.

[he's not running from it. whatever he's feeling right now, he's truthfully not really running for it. that's something magilou can be sure of.

he might not know how to deal with it. he might not know how to really express the things he's feeling, but he's not dishonest about it.

...maybe it's just easier for him when he's focused on her, because he's so legitimately bad at being focused on himself. maybe because he could actually crack a little if he lets himself, even though that's something he's really never done before.]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

Hey. Stop focusing on me for a second.

[REVENGE CALL OUT?? For all the times he called her out before]

I'm not the one possibly staring death in the face on Sunday.

[and yeah, she's afraid, too. but this isn't about her]

[jokered]

[called out.]

I know.

[he knows that's not her. but still, for akira, this is hard. but maybe he owes that much honesty to magilou.]

...

[which is... surprisingly hard.]

I'm not good at that.

[spinatalltale]

[she increases the pressure of her palms against his face, almost. . . smooshing his cheeks together. but barely!! because doing that would probably hurt what with his scratches and everything]

[also this scene is too serious for face smooshing]

And I'm really bad at this! Haven't you noticed? So that makes us two people who are really bad at something trying to learn how to be good at it.

[geez]

Just. . . I don't know, borrow some of my selfishness! Or something.

[jokered]

[he's glad, if nothing else... that magilou is so very magilou. even when she's softer, even when she's kinder and gentler... she's still so very much herself.

and it helps.

strangely enough, they create an unusual balance in each other—she's trying so hard. and that means he has to try harder as well.]

Right... it's only fair. [it's kind of humorless, but he lets out a brief chuckle, like he's realizing what she means.]

It's just weird for me. Nobody ever asks me to think about myself that way.

[he's everyone else's pillar, after all. he comes from a weird situation; one where his friends all love and support him, but are also very caught up in their own situations and just assume that akira has it together at all times.

he doesn't, though. it's just that he never lets anyone see the times when he crumbles a bit, even back home. magilou is already getting more than the phantom thieves ever did, in that respect.]

[spinatalltale]

Well, maybe they should.

[like it's that easy. like it'd help fix everything]

But if they aren't, then I will. You'll give me hives if you act too selfless all the time, anyway.

I'm allergic.

[ . . cheeksmooshes him again. GENTLY]

[jokered]

[so gently, and he does scrunch his nose a little at that.]

I think I'd rather give you something besides hives. [what though, he does not specify.

it's better that he doesn't, probably.]

Hm.

[hm? it seems like there's another thought at the edge of his tongue that doesn't quite make it out of his mouth yet. thoughtful—a little less despairing.]

1/2

[spinatalltale]

[WHAT, NOW SHE'S CURIOUS. and also filling in the blanks]

A large chocolate sundae? A strawberry shortcake with jam layered in the middle? Your grandmother's famous apple pie??

[. . . and she's making things up again. probably because she's sick and tired of fish and coconuts]

[spinatalltale]

[but-- she does notice the way that thought doesn't quite make it off of his tongue]

What is it? You've got something you're almost saying, here. Let it free, like a carrier sylphjay released from its captivity!

[jokered]

[more like kissing her, probably.

akira thinks in grand, sweeping gestures, after all.]

I was thinking. We balance each other out really well.

[oh. there's more to that thought, but as ever... akira is just not the most talkative.]

[spinatalltale]

[and then Magilou's corpse washes up on the shoreline on Friday morning. cause of death: embarrassment and too many feelings]

. . .

[blinks at him slowly, trying to process whatever meaning might exist behind those words]

What, because I'm really selfish and you aren't?

[jokered]

In a way.

[oh.]

I think we both help each other with it. The things we're bad at contrast the things we're good at.

[in each other, he means.]

I think it's why I like being around you. You open up my perspective.

[it's a quiet, fond statement. sorry, magilou. embarrassment and too many feelings is the name of the game. but at least, for a moment, he's focused on something that isn't awful.

in a sense, it's a bit of a deflection because he still doesn't feel prepared to let out certain emotions in front of her—but he's still pretty sincere, in any case.]

It's hard to find reasons to go on without that. [to not give up, even if it's because he wants to protect her so long as he can.]

[spinatalltale]

[what the FUCKING FUCK, Akira]

[it's hard not to miss the implications of that last statement, and every single muscle in her body freezes on the spot]

Wh--

[HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. THAT THING. WHERE HE SAYS A THING AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT]

[. . .]

[she presses her palm underneath his chin and shoves his head back so he can't look at her directly anymore I'M SORRY, AKIRA]

[jokered]

...Too much?

[he should have known it would be, but she did ask this time. he didn't want to lie, definitely not about that especially.]

Sorry.

[she also gets more apologies out of him than most people ever could, but he's really trying hard to respect her boundaries while still being honest.]