[WEEK 4, THURSDAY NIGHT PRE-CURFEW: Akira]

[spinatalltale]

[she moves quietly towards Akira and Raven's hut after nightfall, but before curfew, silently hoping that Raven's absence means it'll be empty save for Akira. careful observation of his demeanor throughout the day revealed to her that his strength was wavering-- worry, a dash of panic, and most importantly fear, was etched into every single feature, to the point of where that spark in his eyes she admired so much was completely invisible]

[she didn't like it]

[. . . but she didn't know what to do about it, either]

[this wasn't her area of expertise. hell, just a few short weeks ago, she would've taken one look at that expression and kept her distance, allowing him to deal with his emotions all on his own. but her feet carry her before she can really think about it, and before she knows it, she's outside his door, standing with her hands linked behind her back and her expression neutral]

[she sucks in a deep breath]

Hey, Trickster! You home?

Comments

[spinatalltale]

[christ, even now she thinks she could lose herself in those eyes. every bit of warmth and understanding and kindness and determination, but also every bit of grief and pain and fear. he feels so much, so much more than what Velvet ever showed to her, and he doesn't run from any of it. not even when he's exhausted and tired and fraying on the edges]

[heh]

Don't mistake a broken heart for a strong one. [she brushes off his words] Out of the two of us, you're the one really living right now.

[. . .]

Don't run from that for my sake. Okay? Every bit of grief and fear-- embrace it just as you would joy and bravery and everything in between.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.

[jokered]

Sometimes things that break... heal stronger than they were before.

[he's not running from it. whatever he's feeling right now, he's truthfully not really running for it. that's something magilou can be sure of.

he might not know how to deal with it. he might not know how to really express the things he's feeling, but he's not dishonest about it.

...maybe it's just easier for him when he's focused on her, because he's so legitimately bad at being focused on himself. maybe because he could actually crack a little if he lets himself, even though that's something he's really never done before.]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

Hey. Stop focusing on me for a second.

[REVENGE CALL OUT?? For all the times he called her out before]

I'm not the one possibly staring death in the face on Sunday.

[and yeah, she's afraid, too. but this isn't about her]

[jokered]

[called out.]

I know.

[he knows that's not her. but still, for akira, this is hard. but maybe he owes that much honesty to magilou.]

...

[which is... surprisingly hard.]

I'm not good at that.

[spinatalltale]

[she increases the pressure of her palms against his face, almost. . . smooshing his cheeks together. but barely!! because doing that would probably hurt what with his scratches and everything]

[also this scene is too serious for face smooshing]

And I'm really bad at this! Haven't you noticed? So that makes us two people who are really bad at something trying to learn how to be good at it.

[geez]

Just. . . I don't know, borrow some of my selfishness! Or something.

[jokered]

[he's glad, if nothing else... that magilou is so very magilou. even when she's softer, even when she's kinder and gentler... she's still so very much herself.

and it helps.

strangely enough, they create an unusual balance in each other—she's trying so hard. and that means he has to try harder as well.]

Right... it's only fair. [it's kind of humorless, but he lets out a brief chuckle, like he's realizing what she means.]

It's just weird for me. Nobody ever asks me to think about myself that way.

[he's everyone else's pillar, after all. he comes from a weird situation; one where his friends all love and support him, but are also very caught up in their own situations and just assume that akira has it together at all times.

he doesn't, though. it's just that he never lets anyone see the times when he crumbles a bit, even back home. magilou is already getting more than the phantom thieves ever did, in that respect.]

[spinatalltale]

Well, maybe they should.

[like it's that easy. like it'd help fix everything]

But if they aren't, then I will. You'll give me hives if you act too selfless all the time, anyway.

I'm allergic.

[ . . cheeksmooshes him again. GENTLY]

[jokered]

[so gently, and he does scrunch his nose a little at that.]

I think I'd rather give you something besides hives. [what though, he does not specify.

it's better that he doesn't, probably.]

Hm.

[hm? it seems like there's another thought at the edge of his tongue that doesn't quite make it out of his mouth yet. thoughtful—a little less despairing.]

1/2

[spinatalltale]

[WHAT, NOW SHE'S CURIOUS. and also filling in the blanks]

A large chocolate sundae? A strawberry shortcake with jam layered in the middle? Your grandmother's famous apple pie??

[. . . and she's making things up again. probably because she's sick and tired of fish and coconuts]

[spinatalltale]

[but-- she does notice the way that thought doesn't quite make it off of his tongue]

What is it? You've got something you're almost saying, here. Let it free, like a carrier sylphjay released from its captivity!

[jokered]

[more like kissing her, probably.

akira thinks in grand, sweeping gestures, after all.]

I was thinking. We balance each other out really well.

[oh. there's more to that thought, but as ever... akira is just not the most talkative.]

[spinatalltale]

[and then Magilou's corpse washes up on the shoreline on Friday morning. cause of death: embarrassment and too many feelings]

. . .

[blinks at him slowly, trying to process whatever meaning might exist behind those words]

What, because I'm really selfish and you aren't?

[jokered]

In a way.

[oh.]

I think we both help each other with it. The things we're bad at contrast the things we're good at.

[in each other, he means.]

I think it's why I like being around you. You open up my perspective.

[it's a quiet, fond statement. sorry, magilou. embarrassment and too many feelings is the name of the game. but at least, for a moment, he's focused on something that isn't awful.

in a sense, it's a bit of a deflection because he still doesn't feel prepared to let out certain emotions in front of her—but he's still pretty sincere, in any case.]

It's hard to find reasons to go on without that. [to not give up, even if it's because he wants to protect her so long as he can.]

[spinatalltale]

[what the FUCKING FUCK, Akira]

[it's hard not to miss the implications of that last statement, and every single muscle in her body freezes on the spot]

Wh--

[HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. THAT THING. WHERE HE SAYS A THING AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT]

[. . .]

[she presses her palm underneath his chin and shoves his head back so he can't look at her directly anymore I'M SORRY, AKIRA]

[jokered]

...Too much?

[he should have known it would be, but she did ask this time. he didn't want to lie, definitely not about that especially.]

Sorry.

[she also gets more apologies out of him than most people ever could, but he's really trying hard to respect her boundaries while still being honest.]

1/2

[spinatalltale]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah]

How else is a girl supposed to react when they're told something like that?!

[at least she lets go of his chin before long, her hand falling back to her lap. the other stays pressed against his cheek, though]

[spinatalltale]

[. . . okay, but he'll probably get the wrong impression if she doesn't clarify, so. . .]

. . . no, no. It's fine.

[. . .]

I guess that makes me a little-- [happy??? sincerely happy, not her joking amusement or anything like that]

[she doesn't finish the statement, though. it's. . . hard. to use the right words to describe a sincere, earnest feeling]

1/2

[jokered]

[ah.

for the first time all day—it seems like he's found a way to smile.]

That's probably how most girls would react to something like that.

[by getting flustered, but not really hating it. either way, he doesn't seem to be looking for her to say the words.]

I know I'm pretty straightforward about it, but—

[jokered]

[okay. this is where he pauses, having to draw in a breath.

because this does tap into a pretty serious feeling, one that definitely falls under the umbrella of being more difficult for him to deal with.]

I hate the idea of having regrets. And this place has given me too many already.

[far, far too many.] But I'll back off when you want me to, just tell me.

[spinatalltale]

[at that, she just]

[frames his face with her hands again]

[and smooshes his cheeks together. again, gently!!]

Hey, heeeeey. Is now really the time to be shy? You've already told me I'm the most important person left on this island to you-- [god how the heck did she say that without bursting into flames] -- and that I help give you a reason to keep going.

I'm a tough witch! I can take this assault on my heart! Bring it on!

[jokered]

[she's doing well. gentle cheek smooshes and all.

but is she really ready?]

I don't want to assault it. I want to mend it.

[there's a difference here, though nothing else that she's said right now is incorrect. as akira says it, his own hands lift to rest over hers for a moment. there's really... no denying his intent here.]

Though I guess mine is a little frayed these days, too.

[spinatalltale]

[oh]

[fuck]

[there isn't denying his intent-- as bad as Magilou is with feelings, she's not clueless. and a good retrospective look at everything that's led them here would easily tell her that they've always sort of been careening towards this]

[right?]

[fuck]

H-- hey.

Don't do anything because of a frayed heart that you'll regret, Trickster.

[jokered]

I'm not.

[...]

My heart's frayed because of the regrets I already have. [this place has given him so many. so, so many.]

I'm trying to prevent any more of that. [his heart isn't supposed to do this. this place is making him question so much about himself, but this—]

Isn't it the only thing I'm allowed to have a little agency on? [in how he feels, at least. he would never push her into something she wasn't into or anything—but he thinks magilou already knows that without him having to say it.]

[spinatalltale]

[yeah. he doesn't have to say it for her to know]

[there's a pause on her end when he finishes talking-- a lengthy pause, like she's struggling with her answer. like the part of her that just wants to bolt because too many feelings and the part of her that wants to stay are fighting with each other, and who the heck even knows which one will win out in the end]

[she doesn't. she doesn't do this. she's honestly never had an interest in it. her devotion was at first to the Abbey, and then to absolutely nothing but her own whims, and then to Velvet's ideal world. she's always been an outsider. an observer. someone who watched but never meddled, someone who never got involved in the affairs of humans]

[so this is. . .]

[. . .]

[aaaah, fuck it. there's a good chance he'll be dead by Sunday, and that thought still feels like ice in her veins. and he's here, talking about regrets, talking about actually living despite everything, and she can't help but think about how that's the best part of him]

[her favorite part of him-- even when compared to the fire in his soul and his will to keep fighting. the part of him that drew her in again and again and again]

[she lets out a short breath]

I don't know what you're waiting for, then.

[jokered]

For that.

[oh?

akira's truly a gentleman thief, through and through. even in the most conventional method of stealing a heart—or perhaps by winning it, or mending it—he approaches it with respect. with consent. he didn't want to force this one her, not when akira's known all along how difficult her heart would be to move.

and really, he hadn't been trying to win her over this way. he just wanted to be honest, but she's taken so many steps on her own to do things for him.

he has to pay it forward.

even if something in him says it's wrong—not because of magilou, but because of himself—he has to do what he feels is right. it's the only time he can, because most of his experiences here have forced him to go against his own beliefs just to ensure survival long enough to help other people. this is the one time he has some agency, and magilou is egging him on.

so he won't waste the chance.

so his hands shift from their spot over hers, and akira moves them until they mirror one another. his hands are gentle, fingers slender and dexterous as he brushes some of magilou's bangs from her face—and then? he goes for it. it's brief, chaste and hardly lingering in the least, but his lips press against hers for that short moment before he draws back.

it's fine.

this is fine.]