spinatalltale | [WEEK 4, THURSDAY NIGHT PRE-CURFEW: Akira]

[WEEK 4, THURSDAY NIGHT PRE-CURFEW: Akira]

[she moves quietly towards Akira and Raven's hut after nightfall, but before curfew, silently hoping that Raven's absence means it'll be empty save for Akira. careful observation of his demeanor throughout the day revealed to her that his strength was wavering-- worry, a dash of panic, and most importantly fear, was etched into every single feature, to the point of where that spark in his eyes she admired so much was completely invisible]

[she didn't like it]

[. . . but she didn't know what to do about it, either]

[this wasn't her area of expertise. hell, just a few short weeks ago, she would've taken one look at that expression and kept her distance, allowing him to deal with his emotions all on his own. but her feet carry her before she can really think about it, and before she knows it, she's outside his door, standing with her hands linked behind her back and her expression neutral]

[she sucks in a deep breath]

Hey, Trickster! You home?

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[more like kissing her, probably.

akira thinks in grand, sweeping gestures, after all.]

I was thinking. We balance each other out really well.

[oh. there's more to that thought, but as ever... akira is just not the most talkative.]

[and then Magilou's corpse washes up on the shoreline on Friday morning. cause of death: embarrassment and too many feelings]

. . .

[blinks at him slowly, trying to process whatever meaning might exist behind those words]

What, because I'm really selfish and you aren't?

In a way.

[oh.]

I think we both help each other with it. The things we're bad at contrast the things we're good at.

[in each other, he means.]

I think it's why I like being around you. You open up my perspective.

[it's a quiet, fond statement. sorry, magilou. embarrassment and too many feelings is the name of the game. but at least, for a moment, he's focused on something that isn't awful.

in a sense, it's a bit of a deflection because he still doesn't feel prepared to let out certain emotions in front of her—but he's still pretty sincere, in any case.]

It's hard to find reasons to go on without that. [to not give up, even if it's because he wants to protect her so long as he can.]

Edited 2017-09-02 04:08 (UTC)

[what the FUCKING FUCK, Akira]

[it's hard not to miss the implications of that last statement, and every single muscle in her body freezes on the spot]

Wh--

[HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. THAT THING. WHERE HE SAYS A THING AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO REACT]

[. . .]

[she presses her palm underneath his chin and shoves his head back so he can't look at her directly anymore I'M SORRY, AKIRA]

Edited 2017-09-02 04:18 (UTC)

...Too much?

[he should have known it would be, but she did ask this time. he didn't want to lie, definitely not about that especially.]

Sorry.

[she also gets more apologies out of him than most people ever could, but he's really trying hard to respect her boundaries while still being honest.]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah]

How else is a girl supposed to react when they're told something like that?!

[at least she lets go of his chin before long, her hand falling back to her lap. the other stays pressed against his cheek, though]

[. . . okay, but he'll probably get the wrong impression if she doesn't clarify, so. . .]

. . . no, no. It's fine.

[. . .]

I guess that makes me a little-- [happy??? sincerely happy, not her joking amusement or anything like that]

[she doesn't finish the statement, though. it's. . . hard. to use the right words to describe a sincere, earnest feeling]

[ah.

for the first time all day—it seems like he's found a way to smile.]

That's probably how most girls would react to something like that.

[by getting flustered, but not really hating it. either way, he doesn't seem to be looking for her to say the words.]

I know I'm pretty straightforward about it, but—

Edited 2017-09-02 04:40 (UTC)

[okay. this is where he pauses, having to draw in a breath.

because this does tap into a pretty serious feeling, one that definitely falls under the umbrella of being more difficult for him to deal with.]

I hate the idea of having regrets. And this place has given me too many already.

[far, far too many.] But I'll back off when you want me to, just tell me.

[at that, she just]

[frames his face with her hands again]

[and smooshes his cheeks together. again, gently!!]

Hey, heeeeey. Is now really the time to be shy? You've already told me I'm the most important person left on this island to you-- [god how the heck did she say that without bursting into flames] -- and that I help give you a reason to keep going.

I'm a tough witch! I can take this assault on my heart! Bring it on!

[she's doing well. gentle cheek smooshes and all.

but is she really ready?]

I don't want to assault it. I want to mend it.

[there's a difference here, though nothing else that she's said right now is incorrect. as akira says it, his own hands lift to rest over hers for a moment. there's really... no denying his intent here.]

Though I guess mine is a little frayed these days, too.

[oh]

[fuck]

[there isn't denying his intent-- as bad as Magilou is with feelings, she's not clueless. and a good retrospective look at everything that's led them here would easily tell her that they've always sort of been careening towards this]

[right?]

[fuck]

H-- hey.

Don't do anything because of a frayed heart that you'll regret, Trickster.

I'm not.

[...]

My heart's frayed because of the regrets I already have. [this place has given him so many. so, so many.]

I'm trying to prevent any more of that. [his heart isn't supposed to do this. this place is making him question so much about himself, but this—]

Isn't it the only thing I'm allowed to have a little agency on? [in how he feels, at least. he would never push her into something she wasn't into or anything—but he thinks magilou already knows that without him having to say it.]

[yeah. he doesn't have to say it for her to know]

[there's a pause on her end when he finishes talking-- a lengthy pause, like she's struggling with her answer. like the part of her that just wants to bolt because too many feelings and the part of her that wants to stay are fighting with each other, and who the heck even knows which one will win out in the end]

[she doesn't. she doesn't do this. she's honestly never had an interest in it. her devotion was at first to the Abbey, and then to absolutely nothing but her own whims, and then to Velvet's ideal world. she's always been an outsider. an observer. someone who watched but never meddled, someone who never got involved in the affairs of humans]

[so this is. . .]

[. . .]

[aaaah, fuck it. there's a good chance he'll be dead by Sunday, and that thought still feels like ice in her veins. and he's here, talking about regrets, talking about actually living despite everything, and she can't help but think about how that's the best part of him]

[her favorite part of him-- even when compared to the fire in his soul and his will to keep fighting. the part of him that drew her in again and again and again]

[she lets out a short breath]

I don't know what you're waiting for, then.

For that.

[oh?

akira's truly a gentleman thief, through and through. even in the most conventional method of stealing a heart—or perhaps by winning it, or mending it—he approaches it with respect. with consent. he didn't want to force this one her, not when akira's known all along how difficult her heart would be to move.

and really, he hadn't been trying to win her over this way. he just wanted to be honest, but she's taken so many steps on her own to do things for him.

he has to pay it forward.

even if something in him says it's wrong—not because of magilou, but because of himself—he has to do what he feels is right. it's the only time he can, because most of his experiences here have forced him to go against his own beliefs just to ensure survival long enough to help other people. this is the one time he has some agency, and magilou is egging him on.

so he won't waste the chance.

so his hands shift from their spot over hers, and akira moves them until they mirror one another. his hands are gentle, fingers slender and dexterous as he brushes some of magilou's bangs from her face—and then? he goes for it. it's brief, chaste and hardly lingering in the least, but his lips press against hers for that short moment before he draws back.

it's fine.

this is fine.]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[it feels like another jolt of electricity, similar to the one she felt that day on the beach when he pinched her arm. which, come to think of it, was probably the start of it all. not this, per se, but the start of her actually attempting to reach out to people with warmth and affection the same way they had reached out to her. it's just. . . somehow, Akira managed to seize that opening and worm his way past the rest of her boundaries without her even noticing]

[or. . . maybe she did notice. it had been pretty painful, after all. it still was, in a lot of ways. maybe she noticed, and just chose to let it happen? it's all pretty fuzzy right now]

[she inhales sharply when he leans in, fingers curling against his cheeks, and then his mouth is on hers and she thinks she might accidentally punch him in the shoulder on reflex?? but somehow, she manages to hold herself back. . . which is good, because the contact is far too short and he's gone already and she feels cold enough to shiver]

[. . .]

[she doesn't say anything. it's unlike her to be rendered speechless, and yet. here she is, saying nothing. but that's okay]

[that smile and the way it actually fills her cheeks and lights up her eyes for once says everything for her]

[it's unlike her, but akira knows better than anyone else that sometimes? you really just don't need words.

when he pulls back, he can see something so warm and sincere in her expression that he actually smiles right back reflexively; almost as if he can't help himself but smile seeing it.]

...There's no way I could regret that.

[it makes his heart feel a little less frayed. even though these terrible things still weigh on him—being granted this much agency, seeing magilou's expression—

even akira can hardly believe how much he's grown to like her, but hasn't that always been his way? those who don't traditionally fit in, those who are shady, those who can be a little sadistic—he's always drawn to those types. and now, their lives are on the line, and he'd regret more not pursuing something before his life ends.

of all the choices he's made since being here—this is probably the only one that's actually felt right.]

[god he really is unfair. do-gooders have always made her itch, have always made her smile curl in a wry and mocking manner. this island. . . it's made her so damn soft, endearing her to people like Akira who wished to selflessly save the world, and not in the empty and pointless manner that had driven Artorius's actions. people who live, just as Velvet and the others, and live undaunted by the ugliness of this game. it shouldn't be surprising that she finds herself here with the one person who lives the most out of all of them. the one person who has actively tried to help her pick up the pieces of her own broken self]

[maybe this place has made her soft, but maybe it's also helped seal some of the cracks caused by Melchior oh so long ago]

. . . I don't get you.

[and before he can respond, she drops her hand from his face and shoves him by the shoulder]

Hey. Don't go thinking I'm some blushing or demure maiden, here!

[annnd there is the tsun]

[he likes the tsun too, so akira just chuckles softly. she's helping? somehow, she's helping, even if it only gets his mind off things for a little while.]

I like that you're not either of those things. [shrug.] I still don't regret it.

[AUGH]

[and she's back to facesmooshing]

I still really don't get you! And you still piss me off.

I didn't ask for this!

[tsun tsun]

I didn't ask for it either, but here we are.

[okay, but what if he, smooshed face and all, leans in to kiss her again to shut her up?

... c:]

[a h]

[stop!! cheating!!]

[she wasn't expecting this one, so she tenses immediately on contact. one hand drops to his collar, fingers curling in the fabric, as though to pull him closer. and she's receptive for all of one second until. . . ]

[she breaks away and jams her hat over his head, pulling it down far enough to obscure his eyes and everything]

[the problem here is that he's still smiling under that hat, amused.

clearly, she doesn't hate it when he does that, even if it's also clearly flustering the hell out of her in a magilou sort of way.

(she's... cute?? she's cute.)]

Ah. Now I'm the villainous witch.

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