spinatalltale | [WEEK 2, FRIDAY POST-INVESTIGATION: Akira]

Mmm.

[a pause. she reaches for her journal at her side, plucking her quill from underneath the cover, twirling same around her fingers as she searches for her next works]

Magillanica was born with an unusually high resonance. [he should remember that term, from their conversation about malakhim] But that was back before most people even knew malakhim existed, since the average person was unable to sense them. Her parents thought her powers were a bit too out of the ordinary-- but then again, who wouldn't be suspicious of a child holding conversations with an empty space? And so, that's how Magillanica wound up with the circus.

[a flick of her wrist. the quill disappears. some simple sleight-of-hand. another flick and it's back, tucked between her knuckles]

She would perform in small shows. Levitate objects and make them disappear for coin, and the like. To the normal person, her abilities were real magic, but that's only because they couldn't see the malakhim assisting her with each trick.

[a pause]

Bienfu, by the way.

[oh. so that's where Bienfu came in]

To the Abbey, her abilities were an asset. People with such a high resonance weren't born every day, you know. And the Abbey needed someone to take over Melchior's position as the Shepherd's shadow eventually.

[he watches, of course—it's nothing that akira isn't capable of himself—but it's also telling of her own dexterity and capabilities separate of her artes, or malakhim.]

And so she survived with the help of a malakhim, since she was the only one who could do it.

[that's easy enough to pick up on.]

...A perfect time for someone to take in someone young and impressionable with high resonance, too.

[they were using her as a tool, the same way they used malakhim. to raise her to be the shepherd's shadow and follow their creed—

likely with a high cost. adults like that, ones who will take advantage of children—they take all they can get, completely venomous, like vampires that will suck them dry. it's like what madarame did to yusuke in a sense, conditioning him from a young age...

adults are so fucked up. his gaze hardens a bit, understanding this in some innate sense, but he waits for her to tell the story.]

Yeah.

[ADULTS SURE ARE FUCKED UP!!! in every world, not just his own]

Someone impressionable who never really had a family of her own, ready to leap at the chance of being offered one. Even if it meant that she would be trained to do things most normal folk would find deplorable.

[/( '-')/]

I never told you what the Shepherd's shadow did. [if only because she hasn't explained malevolence to him. something else that her oath forbade her to talk about, but then again, she already mentioned Innominat so. . . maybe. some other time] But their responsibility was to basically do all the horrible things the Shepherd couldn't. For reasons.

[reasons being the Shepherd had to stay malevolence-free to avoid becoming a daemon, of course]

Be it killing or manipulation or getting rid of an obstacle, the shadow was always there at the Shepherd's back, following in his footsteps. Melchior was the best of the best too, so any young girl with as much talent as Magillanica would be honored to be trained to take over such a coveted position.

[\('-' )\]

Melchior was a tough master, but he had his moments of warmth. He gave Magillanica his name. A home. A warm bed. A full belly. And she took it all, because really, at that point in her life it's all she really wanted.

[she stops toying with her quill, hand closing tightly around it, even though the languid smile never leaves her expression]

But good shadows weren't bred from warmth. And in the end, Melchior had to make sure his pupil's heart was strong enough to accept the tasks that lay before her.

Shitty adults...

[the words are mumbled under his breath with an air of bitterness that makes it clear—he's not happy with this story.

which isn't any fault of magilou's, of course. it just makes his blood boil to be reminded that there are adults like this in the world—in every world, ad on the table and somewhere to sleep. what child wouldn't when given the promise of that kind of warmth and stability?

but melchior took advantage of that—and it's fucked up. it pisses him off even without the full context, because there isn't really a situation where he could believe she's deserving of that. but there's more.

he knows there's still more story to be told—and he intends to let her tell it.]

So what did he do? [he already knows he's not going to like where this goes.]

[that mumbled phrase gets a sideways glance from Magilou and a considering pause. shitty adults, huh. . .]

[no, she can ask questions later. she's the one talking now]

Melchior specialized in illusory artes. What made him so dangerous wasn't his physical strength-- which was still impressive, by the way-- but how good he was at making people believe in false realities.

[she had tried to pick up the same magic during her time as his apprentice, but her illusions were never quite as elaborate or sinister as his. maybe for good reason. and maybe Akira can kind of understand why she was so blasé about yesterday's hallucinations now]

Illusions are tricky things. The only way to escape one is to recognize it for what it is. But when a person can't trust their senses, they have to trust their heart instead. That's why only those with an "indominable will" and a heart as strong as the moon's pull of the tide tend to survive.

A Shepherd's shadow needed to have that sort of strength. And what better way to test it than with one of Melchior's specialized artes?

[he can probably see where this!!! is going!!]

Edited (Styx stop phone tagging ) 2017-08-19 07:17 (UTC)

[he's quiet.

considering.

it doesn't take a genius to see where this story is going; magilou herself survived, but... at what cost? what did it do to her heart to get through one of melchior's illusory artes? trusting your heart above all else is a really slippery slope.

his gaze shifts; he can feel the drop in his stomach that lets him know that he's not going to like whatever the answer is here. there's just no way. and though he responds in few words—it's clear he's listening and processing everything she tells him. he's still attentive, if wary.]

And what happened to Magillanica when she was tested like that?

She broke.

[. . . she isn't giving him details. she'd rather not. she might be able to talk about her past like Magillanica is nothing but a tragic character in a storybook, but the details of Melchior's illusion are too much even for her. even all these years later]

[also? "she broke" may be putting it kindly, and she knows it]

...I see.

[he knows he's not going to get an elaboration on that. and he's not going to ask. no matter how separate she tries to keep them—she is still magillanica; she still had to endure the pain that caused.

and what lingering effects it still has.]

What happened after that? [he'll gloss it over. if there's ever a time when she feels she can talk about those painful memories, he won't shy away from listening, but for now—she can go a her own pace.]

You really think someone like Melchior, an institution like the Abbey, would keep a useless, broken doll around?

[. . . that's. probably not something she should say so flippantly, and yet. she speaks of it without an ounce of emotion in her words-- no sadness, no anger, nothing]

No.

[he's no fool.]

But I know that's not really the end of the story.

[. . . she has to skimp out on the details of the next part too. because, again, she doesn't want to get into the personal parts of this story. the illusion of her family, warm and kind and accepting, so starkly contrasted to how they were in reality, and how she couldn't fight against that kindness no matter how fake she knew it was. how badly Melchior had shattered her heart the moment he had ripped away any semblance of warmth and love and family because of her failure. how she had spent months after that living as a shell of a person, barely able to care for herself, only kept alive by Bienfu's kindness]

[it's pretty pathetic, and she doesn't want him to think of her in such a way. she doesn't want anyone to think of her like that. not when that heartbroken person no longer exists]

Magillanica was excommunicated, of course. Thrown out of the Abbey after having the Mayvin name stripped from her own. She became known as "The Lost Legate" of the Abbey, the only high-ranking commander to disappear from its ranks without a trace.

And that's when I found a new master, honed my skills as a witch underneath her tutelage, and became The Magnificently Malicious Magilou! To be feared across all eleven seas!

[the dramatics are back]

And that's why we have the uncaring Mazhigigika Miludin do Din Nolurun Dou sitting next to me today.

[...]

I see.

[...]

It's an interesting story. I guess I like this Magilou better after all. [?] Even if I see a pretty big discrepancy here.

[. . . ?]

Hey, my story is perfect. No discrepancies at all!

[STOP CALLING HER OUT]

[he's not going to, though what he says is ... quiet?

like it's not really meant to call her out. a sincere observation.]

I don't think you're that broken. That you can't care. [akira?] You're protecting yourself.

[because caring could lead to heartbreak, and she doesn't want to go through whatever she suffered through the first time she broke. it isn't "she can't," but that she doesn't want to, maybe that she's afraid to.]

Edited 2017-08-20 22:41 (UTC)

[. . . ah]

[. . .]

[she continues, tone light, like he didn't just hit on some very deep truth about how she interacts with the world around her]

You know, I didn't really have any particular life goals in mind after I left the Abbey. ["I," now. now she's talking about Magilou] I didn't really care about finding any. I didn't care about the Abbey, or Melchior, or the state of the world, or anyone else living in it. I wasn't angry. I wasn't sad. I was just there, and whatever I did, I did because I felt like doing it. No more, no less.

[. . .]

Then, I met Velvet.

[he's already pretty sure he's right, because if she couldn't care, she wouldn't. but time and time again, she's shown edges of consideration for him. she shows it for others. she gets annoyed—

there are traces.

traces of her caring, but closing herself off to it, because—especially here—it's dangerous. it's something akira isn't capable of himself, to close off the potential for strong bonds, but it doesn't mean he can't see those signs in others.

but there's more. there's always more, isn't there? so he has to ask:]

...Velvet?

[it irritates her how close he is the truth when he's just known her for two weeks. it's why she avoids it-- doesn't confirm nor deny his assumption-- and continues with her story]

Hey. Remember when I said you reminded me of someone? That's her.

[wags a finger in his direction as she speaks]

She was the one who helped me break out of Titania. And while I couldn't have cared less about the Abbey or what it was doing to the world, she had enough hatred in her heart for the both of us. For ten of us.

[. . .]

It was interesting, I suppose. She was a foolish idiot who wanted to kill the Shepherd to satisfy a personal vendetta, even though it would mean going up against the entire world who loved him. It just so happened that I had business that lined up with hers-- [tracking down Bienfu, the TRAITOROUS BETRAITOR, but she didn't really explain to him Bienfu's involvement in anything so she glosses over it] -- so I followed her for a while. I didn't really care what happened to her, but it kept me from being bored, I guess.

[. . . . . . . . .]

But the more I followed her, the more she irritated me. Every single circumstance in the world was stacked against her. Her enemies-- the Abbey, the Shepherd, the Shepherd's Legates-- were powerful and capable of crushing her in one blow. Her chances for success were, quite frankly, less than 0%.

[. . .]

But she fought, anyway.

[her avoidance of that topic will only make it more obvious to him anyway.

but still, he listens. and it becomes clear that her "irritation" was her investment in what velvet was doing. regardless of how magilou frames it, she had a stake in this too, considering she was fighting against the abbey and the legates—melchior was included.

he doesn't say anything, though. what happened with velvet? how deeply does this tie to magilou's ability to care?

he's gotta know.]

[she takes his silence as permission to continue]

And when I call her a fool, she really was a fool. I mean, we both had reasons to hate the Shepherd and the Abbey. Hate its absolute control, its restriction of freedom, and how it touted "purity" and "the good of the many over the suffering of the few" as the absolute moral standard for everyone in the world. But I didn't care enough to fight the world to tear it down-- not like she did. Actually caring about anything never really got me anywhere, after all.

[leans forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin in her palm]

People say that pure, unadulterated hatred is a bad thing. People say that anger and rage can burn a person to cinders if they aren't careful. I thought it'd eventually become too much for her, and that fire she nursed in her heart would die.

But it didn't.

[. . .]

I suppose that anger gave her purpose. It gave her drive. It gave her the power to change the world. But most importantly, it gave her the ability to live, undaunted by the ugliness in people's hearts.

It made her much stronger than Magillanica ever was.

[she doesn't say it. maybe she doesn't have to, with what her words imply. the sentiment is unsaid, but still there, in the crooks and crannies of her story]

[I really admired her]

She sounds pretty amazing.

[magilou doesn't have to say it. akira understands—and this time? it's not something to call her out directly for. the implications read loud and clear.

magilou wouldn't make that comparison especially, if she didn't have a good reason.

akira knows that.

so he pauses to process that all a bit more, leaning back where he sits and closing his eyes.]

Most people aren't that strong. It's a lot easier to give in to hatred and bitterness until it a consumes them than to harness it or fight against it.

[is there a story there? of course there is, but the thought of akechi comes to mind and for a moment, his expression sours. he was like that—and it destroyed him in the end.]

[ah. there's a story there. and he owes her after this-- she files away the question for when it's her turn]

. . . she was everything the Abbey hated. Anger and ugliness and selfishness all wrapped up into one prickly ball of barbs and needles. They called her the Lord of Calamity, and preached the evils of her ways to everyone in the world.

Maybe that's why she was the best person in the world to actually fight against them.

[she sighs. brushes at her bangs with one hand]

I suppose I thought-- well. If something as "evil" as hatred and anger could inspire someone to free the world like she did, then maybe. . .

[living-- actually living, and not just going through the motions like she had for so many years-- was actually worth it]

Maybe a little pain isn't so bad. After all, pain like hers is proof that someone is alive. Without it, I guess all you get is Magillanica, who broke and then gave up in the face of adversity without even trying.

Doesn't that, on its own... show that you can care quite a bit?

[even if it took her a long time to get there. he can process the meaning of that story—but he's not really sure how he'd ever take away from it that magilou isn't capable of caring.

clearly, she is. so very clearly, and it feels like from this, he's learned that velvet gave her inspiration to want to break the chains she'd put herself in and learn to feel properly and live properly again, instead of being completely apathetic.

...unless there's more. he'll wait for more if there is, but this seems pretty plainly obvious to him, as is.]

Hey-- have you ever tried to move your leg after sitting on it for a very long time? Pins and needles!! It's torture!

[there's a metaphor, here]

It's a slow process.

[he gets the metaphor.]

But the best way to get rid of the pin and needles is to deal with it head-on. Slam your foot into the ground and bear it, get the blood flowing again.

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