[WEEK 2, WEDNESDAY SOMETIME: Lucina and Akira]

[spinatalltale]

[at some point!! on Wednesday!! Magilou is going to drag Akira and Lucina to the beach for ~rehearsal~. the whole performance with Laphicet had been lackluster because she had relied on improv and improv only, so she wouldn't make that mistake twice!! she'd drill the fundamentals of comedy into both of her new employees' heads if it took alllll evening]

[when they arrive, Magilou hands each one of them a piece of paper torn out of her handy dandy journal]

Here you go! ☆ Make sure you sign on the dotted line. It's a liability waiver.

[. . . the only thing on the paper is a crudely drawn picture of this thing]

[there is no dotted line]

Comments

[jokered]

[it's okay, lucina.]

I'm waiting for the motivational part.

[he's got you.]

[spinatalltale]

[jabs a finger at Akira]

I'm getting there!

[don't rush her, she has to make this appropriately dramatic]

As I was saying, a comedian's job can be considered the most important job in the world. No, the known universe! Life is full of tragedy-- of people kicking puppies, of ice cream falling from the tops of our cones, of papercuts and stubbed toes and other unpleasant things.

[THOSE ARE ALL VERY MILD THINGS COMPARED TO LIKE, MURDER, MAGILOU]

People need a reason to smile in tragedy. A reason to keep going, when their hearts have shriveled up and died! That's what a comedian does.

A comedian balances out despair with light! Darkness with hope! [wait those aren't exact opposites] A comedian gives people a reason to live again!!

[this is ridiculous, does she even believe what she's saying]

[rightfully]

[ Super patiently, she waits out this speech unto its end.

Time for the most important question in history. ]

Wait. A moment, please.

...

What is "ice cream" and why is it on a cone?

[ Nailed it. ]

[jokered]

[yeah, akira doesn't really care about the speech. comedy's not his true strong suit and after the haru murder situation, he's not feeling that comedic.

he's really just helping magilou with this because he asked and that's what you do with confidants. if he could pretend to be on a crucifix in a church for yusuke, he could probably help magilou with her dumb comedy routine.

but because the speech isn't too motivating? he's going to help lucina out here.]

It's a frozen dairy dessert. It's sweet, and you put it in a sweet crunchy waffle-like cone that you can also eat without making a mess.

[thumbs up.]

[spinatalltale]

[THANKS AKIRA. but she bends over, arms hanging in front of her, and sulks]

T-that's it? That's how you both react to my motivational speech? Did I fail to touch your hearts with the power of my words?

[rightfully]

[ She supposes she ought to comfort Magilou after failing to be so moved by her speech, but Lucina has said over and over that comedy is not her strong suit.

So. Here's the attempt. ]

No, Magilou. Of course not. I found the sad ice cream tale to be very motivating.

[ It's like she's forgotten every other word in it. ]

I would certainly not wish for my toe to be stubbed.

[ That was the point, right? ]

[jokered]

[well, at least one of them is trying.]

I'm pretty sure you should be the one cheering me up in this situation.

[he says it dryly to magilou—he doesn't really mean much by it, but honestly!!! he's the one who's already been through some shit here, how is he supposed to be bringing cheer?]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

Oh, brother.

[just. presses a hand against her face]

I'm beginning to think I need to seriously start exploring new career paths.

[rightfully]

[ While Magilou is doing that particular thing, Lucina is going to turn her attention back to Akira. ]

Actually, I would like to hear more about this ice cream.

[ Surprise, she's a stealth weirdo. ]

Does it come in different flavours?

[jokered]

[akira's not very stealth about being a weirdo, so it's fine. at least this is par for the course with magilou's menagerie.]

Tons of them. I don't even think I could name all the ones that exist.

[spinatalltale]

[and Magilou is the most blatant weirdo of them all, so. you know. it works]

And knowing someone's favorite ice cream flavor is equivalent to knowing their darkest, most intimate and saucy secrets.

[NO. . . DON'T LET HER PULL THIS ONE OVER LUCINA'S EYES. . .]

[rightfully]

[ Be...lieving it...

(help her.) ]

Is ice cream an inherently intimate food?

[ At this rate, she might blush. She hadn't known that when she had begun asking about it!! ]

[jokered]

[...]

Only if you consider something you give to little kids in the summertime something intimate.

[magilou, stop this.]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

Way to burst my bubble, Newt.

[rightfully]

[ Looks from one... to the other...

?????? ]

... Perhaps we should begin.

[jokered]

That's on Magilou, it's her show.

[spinatalltale]

[ya'll]

Right! On with the lessons.

The first type of comedy we're going to talk about is slapstick. It's a type of comedy based fully on laughing at someone for being clumsy and embarrassing. Physical humor is the simplest form of humor, but it never fails to get a laugh. You can always use it in a pinch!

Let me demonstrate.

[points to Akira]

You.

Come here.

[rightfully]

[ Yeah, Akira. Go!!

... ]

[jokered]

[s i g h.]

For Lucina's sake.

[he says dryly.] I know what slapstick is.

[this is not going to go well, honestly.]

[spinatalltale]

[yeah probably not]

I had a feeling you did. That's why I chose you for this particular demonstration.

[she claps her hands, reaches behind her, and. . .! pulls out one of those wicker baskets that showed up in Prussia and Lief's hut earlier that day]

[and then she calmly drops it on top of Akira's head. basket hat. it's hard enough that he probably. . . can't see anymore]

[rightfully]

[ While Magilou is doing that, Lucina will try to peer behind her back. Where did that basket even come from?

... As you were, lovebirds. ]

[jokered]

[.....................................]

I don't see what's slapstick about this.

[spinatalltale]

[there is nothing behind her back!! spoopy]

This is only the beginning! Pay attention, Lucina.

[and that is when she grabs Akira's shoulders]

[spins him around like five times]

[and then shoves him forward in a random direction. probably towards the water because it's funnier that way?]

Start walking! [and, to Lucina] Observe how he cannot see where he's going due to the basket on his head. Why, he might even make the mistake of marching straight into the ocean or tripping over a rock and landing flat on his bottom!

That is slapstick in its truest form.

[don't trip Kurusu]

[rightfully]

—! [ A noise. ] Magilou!

[ Stepping forward, Lucina takes the initiative to remove the wicker basket from Akira's head. With the other hand, she steadies him as best she can, in case he's wavering dizzy from the spin.

Yeah, she doesn't really understand or appreciate this form of comedy. ]

It will not be funny if Akira injures himself.

[ Frown frown frown! ]

[jokered]

[thanks, lucina.

he seems to be mostly fine, though. just a small wooble that will only take a little bit to stave. he's been much, much dizzier.]

It's okay, Lucina. I would have just grabbed onto her hair and taken her down with me if I fell.

[now that's comedy!!!]