spinatalltale | [WEEK 3, SUNDAY POST-EXECUTION: Akira]

[it is. and it's what he expects.]

You caught me. Stalking you. Nothing to do with the bonfire being a communal area at all.

[. . . there's a snappy remark on the tip of her tongue-- uho, so if I had wandered off to the jungle instead, you wouldn't be here right now, is that it? how easily the threads of fate can be broken!-- but. she swallows it before the words can leave her mouth]

[for some reason]

[instead, she drops her hand to the knife in her lap, carefully running her fingers over the handle. it's still not her weapon of choice, and she finds herself thinking that Rokurou would be disappointed by its quality. but even so, something has been on her mind, so as much as she'd like to get rid of the weapon. . . maybe she should hang onto it. for a specific purpose]

Hey, you know. I was thinking.

[tugs her hat back down over her eyes as she talks]

When Cindy went into the jungle the other day, she lost something.

I think I'm going to go get it back for her.

Edited (PRESSED SEND TOO EARLY JESUS CHRIST I'M NOT EVEN ON MY PHONE) 2017-08-28 22:34 (UTC)

[he actually freezes in place when she says that, and then just asks simply:]

Are you a moron? [though there's a very hard edge to his tone. obviously, he's not okay with this suggestion.]

[fully aware that she'd get that reaction, her response is filled with her usual cheer and dramatics]

Yeup! Certifiably! Velvet's recklessness really rubbed off on me, and I juuuust don't know how to get rid of it.

[. . . OKAY MORE SERIOUSLY. . .]

If I don't get it, then she'll go back out there by herself. In her state, she'll die.

[putting it bluntly, as though that's the only reason she's considering doing this (spoilers: it's not)]

Using my tricky trickster senses and my battle-honed instincts, I'm sure I'll manage to get away with just a lost foot! Or something.

You're not going.

[well, that was a fast shutdown.]

Raven, Bellamy, Lucina—all of them know how to fight and survive and look at what happened to them. You don't have Bienfu or your artes. You do that, and you're as good as dead, and you'll take Lucina with you.

[...there's more he can say, but he'll stop there and see how she takes that.]

[annnnd all of the lightness immediately evaporates from her demeanor. she even sits up to stare at him again, though this time her expression is blank]

[she's not very good at being told what she can or can't do]

I have this.

[her fingers curl around the knife again]

And I'm not stupid; I had planned on asking someone to go with me, although I get the feeling that he'll probably turn me down now.

I know you're not stupid, but this choice is stupid. You saw what happened to them—and Lucina doesn't want you to endanger yourself.

[he's sure of that. he knows it, because lucina told him as much—that she wanted him to protect magilou in his stead, in the ways she no longer could because of her injury.

...so akira is sure this is magilou acting on her own, with no regard for anyone else's feelings.

and he realizes easily enough how that makes him feel. how he feels that instant feel of dread; how his stomach sinks like it did when haru expressed her concerns that she was here on this island to day. how it makes him angry that magilou could be so careless with her own life.

...how he sincerely doesn't want to see her get hurt, or throw her life away over a sword.]

Acting on your own to do that. Is it to make Lucina feel better... or to make yourself feel better?

[it's a little of both, actually. surprise: Magilou has a weakness for families!! and knowing now how important Falchion was to Lucina-- knowing how that sword meant more to her than her life simply because it was a family heirloom, a symbol of her having a place to belong-- meant that Magilou could empathize with its loss extremely well]

[but there's also desperation there. a grab for agency, a grab for some kind of damn choice now that she's quickly realizing those without roles such as her were never given one in the first place. and that's why she bristles at being told she can't]

What's it matter, anyway? I told you-- I'm selfish.

[she stands up now, twirling the knife around in her hand with some dexterity as she tosses her now-lean ice cream stick into the bonfire]

I'm going, and whether it's for myself or Lucina isn't important. You can come with me, or you can stay behind. Your choice, Trickster.

Even if Lucina doesn't want you to go?

[he knows that reason isn't going to work. she knows as well as he does that they have no agency. that going into that jungle to retrieve a sword when everyone got lost the second they stepped foot of the trail meant it was nearly impossible.

it's a deathwish.]

She wants you to stay safe, not throw your life away for her sake. [...] And I don't want you to either.

[...] Even though you're selfish enough that my opinion doesn't matter.

[a pinprick of annoyance at those words. at the thought that there were people out there who actively didn't want her to throw herself headfirst into danger. that's a different feeling, and she isn't quite sure what to make of it. what does one do with the knowledge that there are people who would be upset if she died?]

[it's like another knife to the chest, and she visibly flinches]

Hey! First off.

[jabs a finger at him]

I'm totally not throwing my life away. I don't have a death wish, and I'm way more capable than you think. Second--

[jabs two fingers at him]

Your opinion is one loooong lecture about why I'm not being reasonable. [yeah, that's what she's going with] And I'm bad at adhering to "reason."

[FOR REASONS HE SHOULD KNOW]

. . . anyway. Man. Dog. You know the drill. Don't wait up for me.

[and with that, she turns on her heel to leave]

...If that's what you think, then maybe you should listen a little closer.

[because akira isn't saying this solely because of reason. he's trying to use it—maybe selfishly for himself than for anything else.

because he's trying to hold onto reason. because he's trying to not let his feelings rule over him, even if everything he's ever done right has come from rebellion and following his heart.

...

maybe now that's what he needs to do.

so akira pulls himself back up to his feet—and though he doesn't reach out to grab her, because that's not the sort of person he is without good reason, he does wait to see if she responds to him before he says what else probably needs to be said.]

[for a minute there, it doesn't look like she's going to stop. her mind is made up, and the last thing she wants to do is continue to listen to a lecture about how blah blah bad decisions blah blah it's dangerous blah blah you'll put Lucina in danger blah blah. . . something something]

[but then she digs her heel in the sand and pauses, considering. and then she heaves a sigh, annoyance in every movement, and turns around to face him again]

What?

I don't want you to go. You're not the only selfish one here.

[there's more to that, but akira needs a second. not because he's shy or ashamed of what he says or feels—

but magilou should know that he's not always great with words, especially when he's put on the spot.]

Haru and Raven—I couldn't do anything for them. [and that stings. his relationship with raven is different, but there's no doubt magilou knows how much it are akira up inside to not be able to protect her.] ...How the hell am I supposed to watch you march up into if not death than being totally maimed? Or go with you, and risk the same without being able to do a damn thing for you?

[...

....

................]

You're. The most important person to me that's left here. [akira????] Raven is my teammate, she's important but... it's different.

[because magilou is important to him on a much more personal level.]

[. . . . . . ]

[. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ]

[white noise]

[. . . . .]

[more white noise]

[. . . she steps back, one hand curling into a fist and flying to her chest, right over her heart. her gaze narrows, and although the urge to look down is there, somehow she manages to keep it trained on him]

What--

[it knocks the wind out of her, but not in the way most heroines are rendered breathless in all of the cheesy romance books she's read. it's painful-- it's fucking painful-- in so many ways that she doesn't even know where to start. she's never heard those words before. not from her parents, not from the circus troupe she was with, not from Melchior. not even from Bienfu, who was her closest friend and companion. it hurts, and what hurts the most is the fact that she finds she doesn't mind hearing them from him]

[she doesn't care what anyone else on this island thinks of her. she's glad for those to whom she's grown close-- Lucina, and Lief, and Nino, and Laphicet. but they could all hate her and she'd let it roll off her shoulders and say that it is what it is]

[but if Akira hated her, she'd be devastated. and that knowledge is fucking terrifying]

[when she finally finds her words, they're low and even, carefully calculated and delivered without an ounce of feeling]

. . . what do you expect me to do with that?

Edited 2017-08-29 04:24 (UTC)

Try to listen to what your own heart is telling you, if you won't listen to mine.

[...]

And then do what feels right.

[he's so straightforward. his lips curve up into the barest, most devious smirk he can muster when his own heart his racing like this—it's joker's adrenaline, to be sure.]

Because that's what I'm going to do.

[which means if she tries to go off into the jungle, he's going to pick her up and carry her away, and if he has to shock her into staying behind by following his heart or bring her straight to her own hut to tattle on her to lucina, he will.

he's not playing by her rules anymore, he's playing by his own—and the fire in his eyes is very real right now.]

[what the fuck]

[it's that stupid smile again. the one he wore when he was speeching at her after Josh's trial. her heart absolutely skips a beat in her chest, just like last time, but she could've sworn to Innominant that the last time was some sort of stupid fluke]

[and what is it about his eyes, anyway? they were the first thing she as drawn to, and even now, with that fire burning in his irises, she thinks she could lose herself in them forever if she wanted to]

[motherfucker]

[she can't do it anymore. she looks away]

I don't have a heart. Remember?

[delivered blandly and, again, without emotion. it's bullshit and they both know it, but she can't]

...Bullshit you don't.

[he'll call her out on it.]

You know it as well as I do. Use some of that endless fearlessness to listen to it.

-- I don't know!

[she spits, the words tumbling from her mouth before she can stop them. her eyes snap back up to his]

You really piss me off! What's with you? Did you fall and hit your head or something?

[she puffs up, in that way that way she does when she's preparing to be dramatic for the sake of a diversion]

I am Magilou, the wickedest witch on this island! You should be fearing me, or-- or trying to stop my villainy, instead of-- making me your friend! Or. . .

[whatever "most important person on this island" is supposed to mean]

[(she knows what it means-- because truthfully, deep down, he's the most important person on this island to her, too)]

I think I could look god in the face and I wouldn't suddenly cower in fear.

[well, apparently he's going to use satan to shoot god in the face one day, so that's probably true.]

You piss me off too.

[akira???]

I didn't ask for this either, but it happened, and I'm not going to make the mistakes I made before about this.

[not telling haru how he felt, not trying harder to protect her.] This place has given me more regrets than I've ever allowed myself to have before. I'm drawing the line, and this is where I do so.

[so if it means telling magilou how he feels, forcing her to face her own head on, or physically dragging her away from the jungle to keep her safe...

he will.]

[god. she believes that, too. stupid protagonists]

[she's quickly running out of words, especially since her head is swimming so much, so instead of saying something back, she just. sucks in a deep breath to steel herself, squares her shoulders, and stalks towards him with purpose in each step. she raises her fist, and--]

[promptly smacks his shoulder]

[. . . it doesn't hurt because she isn't trying to hit him very hard]

Ow.

[dryly.]

Good. Maybe you now you know how I feel right now.

[MAGILOU IT'S NOT AT ALL THE SAME]

[. . .]

[she doesn't step away from him even when she's done with her totally pointless display of tsun]

My heart's broken. [that, at least, isn't an outright lie. unlike the one she told earlier] It's hard to listen to something that doesn't always speak clearly anymore. So. . .

[. . .]

[so??]

. . . I'd be a little upset if you hated me.

[I. okay, Magilou. that has to be the worst response to a confession in the history of confessions, and that's including everything she had done up until now]

[but it's the way she works, and there's more to those words than meets the eye. he should, at least by now, understand that]

[he understands it. he even smiles a little—and it's not one of some kind of smug victory, either.

it's soft, it's gentle. it's kind of sincere and something more like what he would show to haru when she was still alive than what he's displayed with magilou up to this point.]

Then we'll just have to work on trying to figure out how to mend a heart, right?

[a pause.] Stealing them is my business, but you don't have to steal them to fix them.

[and then:]

And I hope I don't give you a reason to be upset. [he's not planning on hating her, at least. but he has no idea if there will be some other trigger that she'll uncover along the way.]

. . .

That was really cheesy.

[I'M]

[I'M SORRY]

[but there's at least a curl to her mouth now, the slightest hints of her own smile]

But-- hey! If you really want to try picking up the broken edges of a shattered heart, then I who am I to stop you? Just don't blame me if you get cut along the way.

[. . . she still doesn't get it. she isn't sure she ever will. she's a certified mess and a half, and she knows it. but if anyone were to actually try?]

[she'd want it to be him]

[being called cheesy doesn't seem to bother him. he's been called worse; he knows his lines are kind of cheesy sometimes—

but they work, don't they?

somehow, he got her to keep from walking away. he got her to be more honest with him, and in her own way, she admitted that their feelings are suspiciously similar.]

You have my word. Not just as Akira Kurusu, but as Joker, leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

[...]

I do things like this because I want to. Call it... my way of telling those assholes to go fuck themselves, because I don't let their games decide where I should put my feelings.

[his own rebellion, even if he knows in some ways, with what's already happened and what they've experienced, he's played into their hands. but this bond, between them—between a broken-hearted witch and an outcast criminal phantom thief—that's one he decided to pursue for only himself.]

-- your name is Joker??? Are you serious?

[YOU PUNK SHE SEES WHAT YOU DID THERE DURING THEIR CONVERSATION ABOUT CARD SUITS THE OTHER WEEK]

[UGH OKAY NOT THE IMPORTANT PART]

[she reaches out suddenly and presses the knife flat against his chest, hand splayed across it. she's giving it to him, because if she keeps it, she's going to use it to go jungle diving. and. . . well. while she still wants to-- again, for her sake and for Lucina's-- she supposes that when you have someone who cares about you like this. . . you should probably be a little more careful with your own wellbeing?]

[she thinks that's how it works. that's what she's learned from Jaffar and Nino, anyway. she's never been the type to give up on what she wants to do for the sake of someone else. she isn't sure that this is a pattern she can continue, and she can't promise that she won't change her mind in the future. she's fickle like that, after all]

[but she'll give this. . . thing, this thing where one gives up something for the sake of someone else's happiness, a try]

That way of rebelling is a little unconventional. But I suppose "unconventional" has always been your style.

Unconventional is how it works when you're an outcast and a Phantom Thief.

[he says it with a smirk, keeping the tone somewhat light. this conversation got heavy, raw and honest in ways that he can't entirely say he was expecting to deal with.
but it's fine.

akira will take the knife and a step back; with it in hand, he twirls it around a bit idly. surprise, magilou! knives are his weapon of a choice and he is pretty absurdly comfortable with it in hand, even if it's just as clear that he's not planning to suddenly turn on her.

this is fine.

he's honestly just... relieved that she isn't going to run off into the jungle foolishly, at least not for now. but he might have to go talk to lucina or take bigger measures if she really starts leaning that way again.]

...Thanks, Magilou.

[he steps back, and she does as well, linking her fingers together and resting them behind her back. she watches him toy with the knife, and despite his obvious proficiency with them-- a proficiency on par with Rokurou's to be honest-- she doesn't really regret giving him the weapon]

[she thinks, actually, that he's far more suited to holding onto it than she is]

Well. . .

[. . .]

[wait, what comes next. she doesn't actually know? she can still feel her heart beating madly in her chest-- can still feel her gut twist and ache with how raw and fresh this feels for the both of them. but she hasn't ever done this before, so the road ahead is uncharted territory??]

[maybe she'll just fall back on humor to fill in the silence, as she normally does]

I suppose I'll have to get my regularly scheduled adventure elsewhere. [FOR NOW; he's right to take extra precautions just in case she changes her mind and decides to go into the jungle anyway] Climbing banana trees or the sides of a volcano just don't have the same feel as a death jungle, you know?

[he still toy with the knife like it's nothing at all; with so much of what needed to be said now settled—

it's definitely a little easier to be lighthearted.]

Climbing the side of a volcano mostly sounds like a good way to get burned.

Come oooon, it's not that hard. You just have to be careful not to trip into the lava flow, that's all.

[SAYS THE EXPERT AT CLIMBING VOLCANOES]

[she shifts a bit on her feet, moving her weight from one to the other, and crosses her arms. it's weirdly uncharacteristic nervous movement]

. . . oh, hey. About yesterday.

[???]

You were right. I would miss you if you died. Or something.

[oh]

[she's been so good about sticking around and hearing him out and not bolting up until now, but that one last shred of honesty seems to be too much for her]

-- oh, hey! What's that sound? The dulcet tones of the man with a dog calling me! Magilou, Magilou, Magilou. . .

[MOONWALKING OUT, WITH FINGERGUNS]

Good heart-to-heart today, Trickster! I'd rate it a ten out of ten!

Edited 2017-08-30 15:02 (UTC)

[oh.

somehow, he wasn't expecting her to admit that on top of everything else.

(maybe this time, it's his own heart racing in his chest; it's a little exciting to think that amidst all this chaos, there are a couple of good things here.)]

[but his expression settles into a softer smile after a moment.

they both probably need some time to process this, and akira should probably stow this knife away so nobody gets any ideas. he won't hold magilou back; they've already spilled plenty of feelings that he's sure her heart needs time to process.

so it's okay.]

I'll see you tomorrow, Magilou.

[with a nod, because of course he'll see her tomorrow.]

[time to process and time to breathe, because it's all just too much!! right now! and she isn't really the blushing awkwardly and stammering type, so her attempting to flee while leaving a series of jokes and overdramatic declarations behind is about as close as she gets to it]

Or later today, if you're lucky.

[. . .]

[OKAY BYE]

[she's disappearing in the direction of the huts]

Edited 2017-08-30 18:54 (UTC)

[WEEK 3, SUNDAY POST-EXECUTION: Akira]

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1/4 I THINK!!!

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DONE YES

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